Hello Adam,

I stumbled upon your companies ad for a parody of the documentary "Harry Potter." I speak on behalf of myself and other wizards when I say you should be ashamed of yourself. How dare you bring shame to Hogwartz? Harry and the others sacrificed their whole lives practicing spells and honoring the wizards' code and you just poop on it with this? The man who I am guessing is supposed to be Harry does not even have a lightning bolt on his head on your advertisement. You amateur.

I have enclosed a spell hidden in this email. By the time you finish it you will become a squirrel. I will revoke the spell if you send me a free copy of this movie when available.

Your Truly,

Professor Sneep

 

 


“Hairy Twatter Causes Uproar in the Witches and Wizards Community”


Hairy Twatter Squirrel

 

DreamZone VP Turned into Squirrel by Angry Wizard's Spell

 

August 13, 2012 (Van Nuys, CA): In what may be the first documented case of human-to-animal transmogrification via a spell-infused email, DreamZone's Adam Hasner has taken the form of a common gray squirrel. Late last week, the studio VP received an email from a jaded wizard named Professor Sneep, outlining his anger over Hairy Twatter: a DreamZone Parody (available August 28th). The wizard directed his wrath at Hasner by magically embedding a potent squirrel spell into his email, which can be read (with caution) in full at www.hairytwatterxxx.com.

While Sneep's email may be the most directed (and effective), there have been plenty of other anti-Twatter rumblings throughout the internet. Tweets, emails and blog postings from witches, wizards and wannabes who find the Hairy Twatter parody distasteful have been reaching the DreamZone offices since the title's announcement. Until Professor Sneep's message, the studio had not been concerned about magical retribution. Now, staffers and their newly-squirrelified leader are not taking any chances.

Reached for comment on the situation, Hasner had this to say, "Tik tik tik eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee. Tik TIK EEEE TIK! Order now."

The DreamZone team has begun contacting the cast and crew of Hairy Twatter, advising them not to read emails from unknown senders until this matter is resolved. Jessie Andrews, Nora Sky, Sammy Grand, Tara Lynn Foxx, Katie St. Ives, Seth Gamble, Tyler Nixon, Logan Pierce, Michael Vegas and director Jordan Septo have all been advised to contact their internet service providers and ask about anti-spell protection.

DreamZone is considering this an "isolated incident," and has chosen to release the title as planned on August 28th. Outside the wizarding community, feedback about the title has been overwhelmingly positive, and the studio remains committed to its customers.

Hairy Twatter: A DreamZone Parody is now available for pre-order from DreamZone. Interested retailers should contact Adam Hasner at 800-999-2483 x1228, or by email at adam@vantagedist.com. Adam kindly requests callers refrain from making jokes about nuts.

Godfather XXX